My mom, dad, sister Bessie and I all arrived at the airport this morning at 6am. Mind you, my flight is not until 12:15, but Bessie is going to LA today and her flight was at 8, so we all came at the same time. However, this turned out to be very poor planning as my airline wasn't even OPEN yet. So mom, dad and I drove around Queens, had a greasy spoon breakfast, has some noodles in the airport to make our stomachs feel better after the greasy spoon breakfast, and enjoyed our last bit of time together. I'm feeling anxious and sad and happy and excited all at the same time and was holding it together pretty well until my dad started crying when I had to go through security. My dad and I are close. We always have been. We drove to Boston every weekend together when I was in high school. We went to Europe together when I was 15. I wish he could come with me here. He studied East Asian politics and languages when he was in school. I didn't take into account the fact that I would miss my parents while I was away. Probably because they were such a pain in the butt the last few days while I was trying to get ready. Kidding, but really, they were kind of annoying. But I will miss them. I know its only a month, but it feels like a long time. My mom turns 65 while I'm away.
I'm thinking this might be the scariest part of the trip. Waiting in an airport with no one I know. Anticipating the 15, 7, and 2 hour flights that I have ahead of me. Getting a taste of what it is going to feel like being around people whose language I do not speak. Wondering when it is acceptable to take the Ativan to alleviate the anxiety. I am excited, too. I just don't feel it right now. I just want to get on the airplane and keep moving forward. Soon. I'll get to meet Giang and be with Kerry. I am so glad that Kerry is there. I don't know if I could do this if she wasn't. But she is, so I can, and I am.
Ok, this time for real, next time I write- I'll be 12,000 miles away. I think its time for an Ativan.
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