Sick day.

Today I am sick. I stayed home from placement which was a big disappointment. I have a sore throat and very clogged up sinuses. My stomach is also kind of funny.

I finally slept, though. I have had a horrible time sleeping since I got here because I have been thinking so much. I finally just passed out, and now I feel a bit better. I will go to placement tomorrow.

Not to much to report today as I spent most of it in my bed scratching mosquito bites, reading, and thinking of all the fascinating people I've met so far. I did go shopping for the dinner I am going to make tomorrow night.

I did e-mail a woman named Dr.Jane Aronson. She is amazing. I told her she was an inspiration to me and asked if there were any internships I could apply for. She suggested I applied to be an 'orphan ranger', which is a job similar to what I am doing now. I could go anywhere in the world with a stipend and work with orphans. Dr.Aronson is currently in Ho Chi Min City. I just think she is so cool.

Everyday I realize a little more where my passion for medicine is. I want to work here. I want to work with disabled and abandoned children. I love the idea of going into adoption medicine. I can't imagine a more beneficial way to use a medical degree; helping the most needy of children in their most formative years.

I can't wait to travel more.

I was sad not to be there when Hoi tried out his new chair. It was a great success. We have the chair on loan for a week, but I have decided to buy it for him once the week is out. It gives him a little bit of independence which is the world to him.

I'm slowly getting an idea of what I can do here aside from just going to my placements. The language barrier is difficult and the next time I travel I will do so with a better understand of the native language. The amazing thing is that every little thing truly does help. These people really have nothing or next to nothing.

I thought a lot today about how I have viewed life and myself in particular. I have gotten caught up in so much pettiness and have let myself feel inferior for what now seems to be insignificant reasons. Though I've been unhealthy and have had my struggles, I am incredibly privileged.

I've always had access to world class healthcare. I've always had clothing and education and books to read. There is not nearly the opportunities for people here that there are in America, especially when it comes to healthcare. That is why I want to come back to places like this. I want to share my good fortune and help people who really do need it. All of these children deserve the same chance at life and health as me.

I can feel myself in my best and purest form here. I feel grounded and compassionate and useful. I'm learning constantly in the most organic form here; hands-on experience at its best.

I would like to not be sick when I wake up tomorrow. I want to go and see the children I've already fallen in love with at social support. We'll see what the new day brings.

But now, I will go to sleep. No pictures to share today, but I will post one from Jen's going away party last week as well as the sweetest note Giang made for me and Kerry at Christmas dinner.

A million thoughts going in a million directions, but I am starting to find some clarity. This is certainly a new and brilliant experience.