I still have not said goodbye to most of the people I have met- I keep putting it off and saying I will come back again. Tomorrow I will go to Social Support but I still won't say goodbye. I am going to come back- I think this summer. I want to stay here now but I am running out of money and I have so much to learn.
We brought Dinh to the hospital on Friday for an ultrasound to see if there is something to do to help her gain weight and got some amazing news. There is a CP hospital in Da Nang but for some reason no one has taken her there before. Kerry and Olivia will be taking her next week and we will figure out sponsoring for her. I think she has so much potential. I think she can walk. I know she can live a better life. She is so special. I will do everything I can to help she and Hoi and all of the other children here until I can come back and actually be with them.
I am so glad that Olivia and Kerry are here. Olivia is so good and caring and I can't wait to see her again. Kerry is, of course, the single most big hearted person I have ever met and I am so lucky to know her. The world needs more people like her. I also really love the new volunteer Anne Stuart from North Carolina. She has been here before and it has been so nice having her.
I am so sad to be leaving, but I know I will be back and I have so much to do before then.
In other news- I might actually LIKE riding the motor bike...? Crazy! I mean I will NEVER drive one, but I was actually able to ride on it this morning without clinging desperately to Oanh praying she doesn't run into the person who is literally 5 inches in front of her. Its ridiculous- I looked to my left and saw a person holding an entire standing closet on the back of a bike.
Its is indescribable what this last month has done for me. The people here have made real the person I want to be and the life I want to live. The world is accessible and people are needy and we all have things to share. Charity is important and giving is essential. I want to give all that I can and I can't wait to get home and hit the ground running with plans for my next trip.
I am not scared. I am not sad and I am not worried. I feel in control and empowered and I want for others. I DO want to rip the world apart and make it right. I don't want to be selfish and I want to feel like a part of the world, not just part of my own anxiety. I am. Its so cool. This place is so cool.
On Friday afternoon I visited the then 6 day old baby from the Pagoda. I tried to convince his caregivers to let me take him to the hospital, but in Vietnamese culture the babies can not leave the home until after a month. I had a lesson in respect that day. This baby was clearly premature and weighs only 2 kilograms (about 4 pounds) but it is not my place to ask them to break the rules of their culture. Instead we will organize for a doctor to come to the home. I brought him clothes and some more formula and cuddled him, but his caregivers are good and his well being is their priority. I then visited with the mothers at social support- one of whom is about to have a baby. We brought her some clothes for the baby and I had some quality time with beautiful Dinh. Hoi is doing well, but I am still going to fight for him. I want to get him a second opinion. The chair is really doing wonders, though. All these people are just so special. I was supposed to say goodbye then, but have decided to go back to Da Nang from Hoi An tomorrow to spend the afternoon with them. My heart is breaking. I don't want to leave. I want to see my family and friends and I want to sleep in my bed, but I really don't want to leave. I miss Bec and Mel and don't even want to think about saying goodbye to Liv and Anne Stuart. I am also really going to miss the interns. They all came bowling on Thursday night and then to a dinner last night and Ha came to Hoi An with us. We finally talked him into letting us pay for his surgery. He was in a motor bike accident a week ago and lost 7 teeth. In Vietnam, the surgery to replace them is 350 USD. Can you believe that? It would be about 10000 times more in the states. He is a really lovely guy and a truly gifted artist. I don't want to leave. The thing is I know that other good volunteers will come but for a selfish reason I don't want to lose the person I am here. I feel so useful and good and although I am confronted with the most sobering facts of life everyday, the people here are so strong and loving and good hearted.
There is so much to do. I love it here. I really, really love it here.
I feel intense. I need to get ready for dinner, but I don't want to move forward right now because I don't want to have to leave tomorrow.
Tonight I am going out to my favorite restaurant in Hoi An with 10 of the wonderful people I have met here, and of course Kerry and Giang. It will be fun. I want to go hang out with Dinh.
Here are some pictures from our outing with Dinh and the last few days. I will write more either tonight or tomorrow morning, but now I need to get ready.
I can't express how grateful I am to everyone who helped me get here. This trip has done everything for me. These people have changed my life. I don't know how to communicate how badly I needed this. My confusion has been replaced with compassion.
I'm happy.
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